TalkWrite: Yes and No

As she looks back over her busy year, Renee Liang ponders the relative merits of saying 'yes' and 'no'.

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Whew – it’s been a big year, and thank goodness I’m slowing down towards the end of it.  Is it just me, or is everyone finding 2009 is like the Tardis – it looks like it’s only 365 days, but once inside seems to fit much much more? 

My year on The Big Idea has been busy. I started off the year by making up a new word, the rather dodgy-sounding "We-ness".  In April, I shared some thoughts on being a novice producer; in October, I became a first-time director. I examined two of my favourite obsessions, poetry (a few times) and collaboration.   In July I started my Cultural Storytellers interview series.  Under the wily guise of asking about their creative processes, I found out what filmmaker Toa Fraser has for breakfast, why poet Tusiata Avia walks in the shoes of a goddess, how producer Sananda Chatterjee blends Kiwi and Indian theatre, and many other secrets.   It’s been so inspiring for my practice that it’ll be a series I’ll continue in 2010.

I recently read a review of Yes Man, a Jim Carrey film where the lead character vows to say ‘yes’ to everything he is offered.  Opportunities arise but also problems.  Without comparing my life to the movies (but don’t we all), I think I’ve found similar things.

As an emerging artist, I’ve found that saying ‘yes’ has opened a lot of doors in a relatively short time.  I think the main reason people  say no is a fear of failure or looking silly; that’s how scripts end up locked away for years.  So in that respect it helps to be new, not to know better and to be unafraid of potential embarrassment.  It’s exactly the same disregard for creative limits that are so useful in making a new work.

It also pays to be reckless when asking for help.  Over the last three years, I’ve tended to act on advice to contact such-and-such who might be able to help me.  I’ve rocked up to festival directors, venue managers, businesses and literary heroes, ruthlessly squashing my fears of looking like a tryhard.   Almost unfailingly, I am rewarded with generosity and often new friendships. And this comes from people who are at the top of their craft, who are themselves insanely busy because they’re good.   (Our community does seem to function like this.  Can anyone tell me if this is the norm in other countries?)  

So, possessing a smile, at least one good idea and relentless enthusiasm is good artistic currency.  But can it also backfire?

I’ve been pondering this as the year closes.  I started wondering if I was about to burn out when, midyear, my friends all started asking whether I was stressed.  (At the time, I think I was writing a play, producing another one, writing a grant application for a 2010 project, and MCing a Poetry Slam.)  I dismissed them all breezily and told them it was a normal state of being for me.  I tried to justify my pattern of using deadlines as a creative driver.  But when I missed those deadlines, I felt terrible that I was letting down those who were helping me and worried that I might be destroying future chances with them.

It was then I realised that what others had been telling me was true: the true value of saying ‘yes’ is defined by what you say ‘no’ to in order to do it.  In other words, there are only so many days in a year.  Even a Tardis eventually reaches its limits.  And the value of learning to say ‘no’ or ‘maybe later’?  You can give decent time and love to those projects you really care about.

Let's face it, I'm damn scared of saying no.  "No" might close a door or block off a possible path. "No" is hard because it knocks over an idea or an opportunity and as an artist you never know where the next one might come from.  Hmm, when you think about it, learning who to say "yes" to is a lot like finding the right romance.  It's good to say yes to some things, just not too many! 

So before the New Year starts, I’m making a list.  I’m making a list of all my planned projects for 2010 and then I am gritting my teeth and clenching my toes.  And then I will pick up a pen and rank all my projects. I will work out what I have time for and what needs to wait.  And I am giving the list to someone I can trust to poke me in the ribs if I stray.

So, that’s my New Year’s resolution.  To keep saying yes to the important things, but also not to be afraid of saying ‘no’ or ‘later’.  You’d better watch me and see that I stick to it.