September 2006. Russian girl arrived in Wanganui.

"Destined Land" (c) Minuit

This story must be heard one day as there is no point in it otherwise, it needs to be shared.

Soul of a random 20-year-old Russian girl who used to be patriotic and never wanted to live overseas has opened up and moved up to a different level back in 2006.

Beginning of the cold September 2006, Wanganui.

When you choose a destination to spend a year of your life there, what pushes you into that decision? Looking back, I would not be able to answer that qustion in regards to my choice to do the internship in New Zealand. For a long time I would not accept the fact that it was meant to happen.

No stereotyped pictures in the head, no expectations. I had not Google'd Aotearoa, Wanganui or any other information to keep myself excited after arrival.

I remember the river... First time I saw it when arriving from Auckland by bus on that semi-grey day, I felt something... I knew that river would be part of my story. Whanganui River.

This part of my story in Aotearoa is nothing I was prepared for. In only six months I managed to spend a night in one of the Pa's outside of Wanganui getting myself involved with the Maori community, get fired for a sexual orientation, live/survive in the dark corner of Wanganui - Aramoho District - for three weeks thinking "this is it" as I saw plenty of those who "once were warriors" and I feared them every day knowing what they were capable of.

My mother being in the Southern Ural Mountains (Russia) always feels me, different hemisphere does not prevent her from knowing when I am in trouble. But I have never told her what I had to go through in Wanganui back then, I had to lie to make sure she would keep her sanity as the story was rough and involved police, domestic violence in front of me, abused kids of the neighbors, watching my car every half hour at night to make sure it did not get stolen right outside of the house.

That was my ultimate challenge back then. I was stuck in the dangerous environment just because of the fact I had nowhere else to go. It was my LAST option and I had to take it instead of sleeping on the streets after being fired by the racist boss.

When people complain about their life issues, I always keep my experience in Wanganui as an example, I keep it at the back of my mind as a reminder of my own inner strength. I was there alone, scared to be raped by abnoxious men who had some major problems with drugs and alcohol. I had a single mattress on the floor in the lounge and had to observe all the parties happening in that house from the lounge floor hoping no one would touch me when they would get too uncontrolable.

I remember hiding in one of the kids rooms.

I remember seeing talent and potential in a lot of young kids on those streets.

I remember calling Children Abuse toll free number to report the neighbors and after that I had to fear them every day. Neighborhood tried to convert me into "do not get involved" person who I had never been and even this time it was all real, dangerous and right in my face, I did not step back. **I still remember that 5-year-old boy who came over from the neighbors house to play with other kids. He was skinny, small for his age. But then I was sitting on the stairs of the house and he was wondering around and I naturally pulled him to me to put him on my lap. That moment he turned his face to me and hugged me so intensively - I felt his heart and fear as if it was my own, I felt that he mostlikely had never been hugged before, I felt he was abused. He put his arms around my neck and I pulled him very closely to my body to make him feel protected. I have never seen such a frightened child in my entire life. Next moment I had to ask him: "What is going on in your house?". He never answered. All adults shared the same useless information with me "do not get involved! they might be screaming at their kids but it's non of your business".

I remember getting out of that house with a strong feeling of relief and strive to get to a better place next time.

Those six months have changed my emotional core, enhanced my inner powers, drawn even clearer line between good and bad in my head. For forever.

 Aotearoa has challenged me from the beginning to check if I was destined to be here and was not just a tourist. I took the challenge.