In their eyes

In their eyes

It had happened a lot. Day after day. I had spent most of my time at school hiding in the shadows, or when called for retracting back into myself. I had gone as far as to avoid main doors, paths and corridors.

And yet it was always the same girls, with all of their friends, some laughing some standing silently. These girls took pleasure in mocking and breaking me in every way. They would forever plague my memories; I wonder if this is something they ever thought of.

In it all I had never told anyone. I had hidden it. I had been afraid of my humiliation and feared the worsening of most of these situations once anyone knew. I when I did tell, I was told that I simply not trying enough for them to know me. So I trusted no one.

The end was near, closer than anyone would ever know. I had planned it, written a letter to my family so they would not wonder forever. The end however came in way which I had not expected or planned. It happened on day I had chosen to be my last.

The same pain as always, but I knew it was the last time that it would end that day. Knowing that no one would be able to break me where I was going. And as usual it was the same girls, with their friends and the quiet ones who always just looked on.

The same heckling, pushing, throwing rubbish and taking my things, going through it and ripping up my books. There were two standing quietly, not laughing. And as it felt to have reached the height of it all, and I had given up trying to stop it. As the last of the rubbish hit me, and they loudly heckled me, it happened.

She spoke one word and stood forward to be seen,

“STOP!!!”

 Almost immediately it stopped. The abuse, the heckling and the laughing. They all looked stunned. She moved with confidence as she gathered my things and packed them neatly. Her friends all the while were in complete silence. She walked to me and placed my things in my hands. The other quiet one came to beside her and looked at me as she said,

“It’s okay, you can go, it’s safe.”

I was stunned. I looked into their eyes and was surprised and touched to find care and concern in their eyes. I left soon after unable to stop myself from crying, but for the first time seen. I wondered what it is they had seen in me that day, at that very moment. What had compelled them to stop it? What had compelled them to act? What had compelled them to save me of all people? What did they see?

Maybe it is because they saw an end for me, which I could not. An end which carried a message. The end which saved my life. I never took the opportunity to thank them for what they did. I don’t remember their names, but I will never forget their faces. And I will certainly never forget their eyes, because in their eyes I found the inspiration to keep on living.

Message

I received

You’re message,

To live.

I chose to

Keep you’re

Message,

To begin a journey.

I still have

You’re message,

I have kept it safe.

I still have

You’re message,

As beautiful as before.